más de ti, menos de mi.

[piccred:JulioMazara]

It´s funny how different my thinking is today than it was last week. Coming to Spain, I had heard that there wouldn´t be as many Christians, as people are much more closed to the gospel. Who would have know that I would be growing and learning so much more than I have before?

We have been talking a lot this weekend about evangelism and prayer. We watched a video during the service about how much time a normal christian spends with God a day (and consequently in their life), compared to other silly things like the time they take to get dressed...it was really sad. For months now, I've been frustrated with the fact that I don't know what God wants me to do. But in reality, how can I know what he has for me, how he wants to use me, what he wants me to do with myself-both today and the rest of my life if I'm only doing a quick morning devotional. I feel "good" about myself, because I've "spent my time with God" for the day. Honestly, this is really messed up. Jesus Christ saved my life...his love for me is overwhelming. Talking with him isn't some appointment that I go to and then check off my daily schedule. No, getting to talk with my God should be a pleasure-something I can't get enough of. For so long, I've been like Martha-I've been far away from Jesus, as busy as I can be, trying to do as many things as I can in order to figure out what God wants me to do MYSELF, instead of sitting at the feet of Jesus--learning from him, falling in love with him, being able to be so close to him, and having him tell me directly what it is that he wants me to do himself.

Prayer is essential in evangelism. How can I pretend to be sharing Christ's love when I am not being filled up by it myself? God has so much love for me, and when I receive it, I shouldn't be able to help overflowing this love and pouring it in to other people. We need to be praying for the people that we are reaching out to. If we don't spend time interceding in prayer for those who we are sharing with, how, apart from the mercy of God, are they supposed to respond. Sharing the gospel is not some simple indifferent "you need God" speech. Sharing the gospel is sharing the LOVE of Jesus Christ-hense, sharing the gospel is loving others and showing them that you truly care about them and what is going on in their life.

Saturday night, a group of us went to ENCUENTRO at a baptist church (where the german group was staying) in east Seville. This church is amazing. And probably not in the way you are thinking. Theres no cool lights or fancy band or even a modern-looking building. In fact, parts of the building are in pretty good need of repair. I'm pretty sure the doors of the Encuentro room are held together by paper and tape. However, God is using this church in major ways. There are about 140 members of this church...and they are FULLY supporting 80 different missionary in so many different parts of the world from tons of different denominations. They are truly supporting where it counts.

(these pics aren't mine...they're from the leader's camera...just borrowing them for the blog! Julio, if you're reading this, i hope thats ok! jaja gracias!)

After the service, they announced that there was an opportunity to go with the german group to tell people about Jesus. Generally speaking, I never been that crazy about street evangelism-or at least not for me. Why? I could probably give a couple half-way good excuses about follow up and knowing whether or not you will get real conversions or some other barely-supported idea I might have. The real reason? I'm scared to death. I have no training or any idea where to start, what to say, and boldness. at all. I'm not prepared. However for some crazy reason, I knew I had to go. Literally. I tried to convince myself to go home and I couldn't. So, really nervous, yet somehow really excited I went out with the group. I got paired up with one of my friends from the program and another friend from the german group (see pic above) and we headed out to the street where there are a ton of bars, clubs, discotecas, etc., praying the whole way. One thing led to another, and I ended up talking to someone for a while. The approach is different than I always assumed it would be. We didn't have some speech prepared or anything. We just went and got to know people...what they were doing, what was going on in their lives--their problems and their hopes and dreams. We ended up praying together, and talked about the differences between Catholic prayer and how we had just prayed...not just reciting a memorized prayer was something completely different.

Although it was just a short time, my heart has completely been changed about reaching out to people like this. We talked to several people that night, and I was so surprised how open the young people are to hear about Christ. I honestly was expecting open rejection, but we never got it (not saying it won't happen!!). We really just spent a bunch of time getting to know people, and asking later how we could pray for them. I feel like a lot of seeds were planted that night.

The next morning we went to church...we were challenged more and more about truly living for Christ. God has really placed on my heart to truly invest in, care about, and show love for the people who are in my life now--especially those who don't know my Jesus. My biggest prayer is for boldness. How is it I can be so scared about rejection, loss of friendship, etc. when it comes to the most important thing on earth?

Hanging out with the Spanish and German youth at church on Sunday

[again, not my pic]

Here's the thing. EVERYONE who knows me, knows I love Perú. I can't help but talk about it. It comes up in all my conversations without me even realizing it [yes, i do know this--sorry guys! jaja]. But how much do I talk about Christ?? What he has done for me? What he IS doing in me now?? not much. I'm ashamed of that. I want to love him more than anything. So much that I can't help talking about him. I want to be filled so much with his light and love that people don't even see me anymore. I want them to see him. This is my prayer: menos de mi, más de ti. more of you, less of me.

My focus has changed as I have been so challenged this weekend by my church and the german group who came--but mostly by God. I'm learning how to listen to him, how to show his love, and how to actually live for him---and not justify or pass my living for me as living for him.

Two nights ago was the Germans' last night here in Seville. My friend from the school Amanda and I went with them to play soccer with some Spaniards in east Seville not far from the church. It was really fun to play some fútbol again...it was a great game! My favorite part was having to jump the wall and fence to get in to the field...good times :)

If I haven't adequately mentioned how much this group has inspired me this week, hopefully my next story will. On the way back from the game to go EAT DINNER at the church, we passed an area (just around the corner from the church) where there was a pretty good sized group of young people. Two girls from the back seat of the van called out, "Hey look, there's some people! Let's go tell them about Jesus!" We stopped the van and got out. After praying together for awhile, we decided that since there seemed to be very few girls, my friend Annette (from the german group) and I (being a spanish-speaker) would go talk to the girls, and Julio (the leader) and two of the german guys would go talk to the others.


We prayed, and Annette felt like she had something special to share with the girls. We went and the girls were really open to what we had to say. We had the opportunity to pray with both of them. The group's leader was talking to the guys (who were all smoking all kinds of wonderful things Im sure :P ) and really challenged them in several areas of their life. To make a long story short, one guy in particular was really listening to what was being said. He ended up accepting Jesus Christ as his Savior!!  He wanted to be clean. After we were done talking, we went back to the church where much of the rest of the group had been praying and told them the good news. The joy that broke out was amazing! We went back with a Bible shortly after, Julio put a bookmark at the start of John and told him to start reading from there and explained several things to him. He said he would start that night! Julio told him about the church and exchanged contact information...he ended up contacting him even later that night!

Please pray for Dani...I'm really hoping to see him at church on Saturday or Sunday!

God is doing amazing things in this city through those who truly love him. I want to be a part of this more than anything. God has been touching my heart this week more than I can explain, and I know that sharing the good news and love of Christ is something that will be on my heart forever. I don't ever want to go back to an "adequate" way of living. I want to change my course and truly WASTE MY LIFE on Jesus. Spain has a huge need for the amazing love of Christ--My prayer is to be used--to not waste any more opportunities that I am given. Just because someone wanted to share the love of Christ that night, one more person is now a child of God!

Some pretty incredible things are happening here. Pray that God will use us to touch the people around us with the love of God.