Un dia a la vez

How many times does God have to prove something to me before I will believe Him?

Our culture is all about being in control of your own future. You study study study in High School so you can get into college. You work hard in College so you can get a good job. You work long hours at your job so that you can make enough money so you can provide for yourself. You are considered strong if you are self-sufficient and self-reliant.

It is so hard for me to surrender. Its so hard for me to not have control. Sometinmes there are things I want so much...which all usually have to do with going to Peru ;) ...that I dont want to surrender, because I feel like if I lose control of the situation, if I surrender it to God, then it won't happen. I am a firm believer in the fact that if it is in God's will, then nothing can get in the way of it happening. In other words, if I'm supposed to go, I'll go.

But still I'm scared, because I have that worry in the back of my mind that maybe God doesn't want me to go. And if I give it to Him, that I won't get what I want(as if by keeping it myself, I would somehow be able to get what I want)! I know God has his BEST plans for me, and he's proved to me time and time again that his plans are so much greater than mine...so why cant It just give it up already?